We’re calling it, “The Wink of the Undefeated”. It’s an image that has been long-lasting here in Skoli’s II Football League. Kyle Adams, owner of the ChicagNO Hash-Oilers, looks upon his competition and delivers a sly wink, as the owner continues his absolute historic run. The ChicagNO Hash-Oilers are now 10-0, and just 4 games away from a never-before-seen perfect regular season. Let’s check in with Mercury Morris, RB from the famously perfect 1972 Dolphins, to see what he thinks about this run at perfection:
Only one team in NFL history has ever started and ended a season without a single loss. The 2007 Patriots came close, but lost in a historic Super Bowl to the New York Giants. Do the Hash-Oilers have what it takes to win out and secure the title and a 16-0 record? Does Mercury Morris need to make room for LeSean McCoy & Jeremy Langford in Perfectville?
Reaction from around the league is mixed, to say the least. Ryan Swenson, owner of Ragnarly, has been very vocal about his desire to meet the Hash-Oilers in the first round of the playoffs. He recently took to social media to declare to Adams, “I hope I get that #4 seed so that we can square off in week 15. I WANT HOLYFIELD!” The Ragnarly owner is confident in his team’s ability to play David against the Goliath Hash-Oilers, but the comment also implies that Swenson sees Adams’s team finishing the regular season as the #1 seed. “They’re going to go 14-0” Swenson would add. “But none of that matters when you don’t finish it off in the playoffs.”
The Hash-Oilers aren’t just gunning for perfection, they want a record that will never be touched again. “I’m going for Bulls 72-10 untouchable record status at the VERY least. Perfection is definitely possible with the heart that the players in this organization play with every week” said Adams when addressing the possibility of perfection. The organization is confident in their ability to win week in and week out, but others around the league aren’t so sure.
“I just don’t see it happening” said John Swenson, owner of BRIDGEtroubledWATER. “He had a great run, I give him that. He took a team that many of us felt would have to heavily rely on Le’Veon Bell and Rob Gronkowski, and made it a team to be envious about. But… as I said at the draft, he’ll only stay as strong as his team is healthy. If he is going to stay undefeated it would take a lot, and I mean A LOT, of help from his backups and free agent pickups.” Swenson is right to point out the Hash-Oilers potential kryptonite – injuries. They have lost Le’Veon Bell and Steve Smith for the year, and will rely on names like Dorial Green-Beckham and Jeremy Langford to help keep the ball moving.
Let’s break down what the Hash-Oilers will need to march to a perfect season. Week 11 pits the Hash-Oilers up against the league’s worst team, Cant Touch These TDs, in what should be a cake walk to 11-0. Having amassed a number of Green Bay Packers players (4), their offensive futility over the past 4 weeks has been dreadful. The four players (Jones, Cobb, Starks & Lacy) have provided Brittney’s CTTTDs with only 67.8 points over the last 4 weeks (even factoring in the week 7 bye, that is still only 5.65 points per player, per game). That’s just not going to cut it from your WR1, WR2, RB1, and FLX1.
Week 12 will be interesting, as nearly all of the players on the Hash-Oilers are playing an away game that week. Ryan Jensen, owner of the Clay Matthews Band, will hope that this matchup feels like a home game, as they are currently slated as a 72% favorite to upset the Hash-Oilers and end the streak.
Week 13 could prove to be the hardest remaining test, as the Hash-Oilers will look to spoil the playoff chances for ChoklitFudgePoptarts. Jake Wilson’s team put up a great fight in week 6 against the Oilers, but ultimately fell 135-122, in what Adams deemed “the biggest challenge of our season yet”. Without Andrew Luck at the helm, it will be hard for CFP to instill the same amount of fear (Luck scored 30 points in their previous matchup), and the Hash-Oilers are heavily favored to win their 2nd matchup of the season.
If the Hash-Oilers make it through those two tough weeks unscathed, then it could be a cake walk to a 14-0 record. Week 14 will see the team facing off against Jason Gaydos’s Aaron Rodgers is GAY squad, who is down to just 1 QB after Peyton Manning and Brian Hoyer have both found their way to the bench with injuries. Aaron Rodgers is GAY will rely on a huge week from Devonta Freeman who will face off against the stout Carolina defense.
Luckily for the Hash-Oilers, the league’s morgue has been collecting a lot of QB bodies (Luck/Peyton/Hoyer). And it could be this unfortunate QB luck (no pun intended) that propels Kyle Adams’s team to perfection.